Do you ever get the feeling that aliens have invaded the brains of your family?
Yesterday everything was great. Today…not so much!
I’ve had those days too. Days when you feel they are speaking a different language (Klingon… maybe?) and you just feel like you might as well be talking to a wall or banging your head against it.
What about those days when you can’t figure out WHY they are acting that way? Yesterday they were normal. Today…not so much!
Recently I bought my husband a good-sized rosemary plant. We didn’t have a pot big enough for it. He was headed to the store so I asked him to find a pot he liked and go ahead and grab it so we could get the rosemary replanted. When he returned home from the store, he returned WITHOUT the pot.
“Where is the pot for the rosemary?” I asked.
“I couldn’t decide,” he responded.
I had a choice. I could get mad and have an entire conversation with him in my head…why can’t he just handle this? What’s wrong with him? It’s just a pot for goodness sake!
I could verbalize to him make him feel inadequate…”what is your problem? Can’t you do anything I ask you to do? Why can’t you ever make a decision?”
…OR because I’ve taken the time (we both have) to learn about each of our personality styles using the Maxwell DISC Method, I can acknowledge how he is uniquely different from me.
I am a DI; as such, I make decisions very quickly. Sometimes this benefits me, sometimes…not so much. He is a CS. He needs time to make a decision…even decisions about a silly pot. He likes more information before making a decision, whereas, my brain goes into overload if you give me too much information. I want the Readers Digest version.
We balance one another. He is the Ying to my Yang.
In the Maxwell DISC Method world, we learn this…
People are different but they are predictably different.
By learning how my husband is different from me, I can have more realistic expectations that lead to a healthier relationship with more effective communication. I have less moments when I feel there has been an alien invasion.
So, in situations like this, where he comes home sans the pot. We simply look at each other and laugh. OK…there might have even been eye rolling. Shhh!
He says, “I know…it was my C coming out and I couldn’t make a decision. Could you just pick one up?”
I respond, “no worries. I was wondering if you would be able to decide on one. I already planned to hit Home Goods tomorrow. I’ll handle it”
What could have ended up as an emotional, knock-down, drag out fight ended in a good chuckle and a compassionate acknowledgement of our differences…and those differences make us perfect for one another.
He is the Simon to my Garfunkel…the gravy to my biscuits…the sugar in my tea…my soulmate.