Jeff and I were at a sushi restaurant recently and these are our chopsticks.
Apparently I broke mine wrong... and that was a problem…according to Jeff. At which point, and without asking me I might add, he asked the waitress if I could have a new set.
In my mind, I agree, they don't look perfect and they didn’t break straight down the middle. But, honestly, I just needed to use them to get food in my mouth...from point A to point B, right?
He disagreed and so I asked why he thought so. He proceeded to give me some really great answers why they would be less than perfect for the task at hand, including balance, which I get.
But, me being me, at which point I just proceeded to use them to put food in my mouth. LOL!
You see my DISC style is D and D-wired people are focused on results. My focus in that moment… was getting my food from point A to point B. Ta-da...it worked! Who knew?
But he is C-wired and C-wired people are concerned about things being done with perfection. There is a right and a wrong way to do things. I get it and honest to God, we NEED these people in our lives!
You will often hear D-wired individual say, “Let’s do it”. While C-wired individuals will say, “Let’s do it right!”
For other couples, this could have led to a huge fight, especially if this is a something that consistently comes up where one spouse criticizes or disagrees with the way the other spouse does something. This chopstick scenario could have been like ripping a band-aid off of an unhealed wound. Maybe even leading to comments like, “why do you always do that?” “Why can’t I ever do anything right in your eyes?” or “Why do you always have to complain about the way I do things?” Do any of those sound familiar?
For us, Jeff and I are both well versed in DISC and know each other’s style. So in that moment we bantered back and forth actually talking about how our DISC styles were being brought to light in the situation. We got a good chuckle and moved on with our day. Crisis avoided!!!
If you are struggling to navigate communication with your partner, I’d love to help you. I’ve created a DISC for couples debrief that I can walk you through that will help you better understand how you and your partner are naturally wired to communicate and how you can have better expectations of your partner’s behaviors, especially their behavior under stress. And, I'll say, this has been especially helpful for Jeff and I because, let's face it, sometimes life just sneaks up on you and you might not even realize you are under stress. Now that I know Jeff’s stress signals and tendencies, I can go to him with compassion instead of annoyance and ask if there is anything I can do to help today.
If this sounds like something you’d like to discuss, send me a DM and let’s get on a call and I’ll walk you through the next steps. They are pretty amazing!
Words that came to my mind: Raw, Possessive, Real, Uncontested, Unquestioned, Power, Position, Awe.
There was something so powerful about this piece of art, so awe inspiring that I couldn’t look away and at the same time it was so raw, I felt like I should look away.
For the next 48 hours God kept bringing this painting into my consciousness. He used it to reveal Himself to me in a deeper way. It significantly upped the level of awe that I felt for Him and His power. It increased my faith.
God is SO possessive of His people… of me!
He was not afraid to shed blood to claim His possession.
In my spirit I heard, “ Oh the arrogance of our enemy! Oh the blindness of his ego…our ego!”
Hebrews 1:3 tells us that Jesus, the Lion of Judah, “is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature.” God’s nature is to be lovingly possessive of His people. His unconditional and never-ending love and passionate possessiveness is beyond our human comprehension. His nature is to be protector of His people.
When I look at that lion, I don’t question what would happen if I were to try to take from the lion what is his. I have a fear of him, a healthy fear. I have no doubt what he’s capable of. I have a reverence for his power and his station in the kingdom. He is the king after all, and I am not.
How is it, though, that I sometimes question the even higher power, capabilities and station of it’s Creator? His above-ness of all things…people, problems, circumstances, things?
Why do I question whether He sees me, knows my struggles, my heartaches? Why do I think He takes his eyes off me? Why do I sometimes fear the enemy and his agenda? Do you think this lion would take his eyes off his possession?
Just as you would never dare take from that lion what is his, you are...I am…the possession of the Lion of Judah, bought and paid for with blood. That’s raw…that’s real!
Do I not think He would fight for me and that my enemy is already under His feet?
As I look into the eyes of this lion, I see those are My Father’s eyes when the enemy wants to lay hands on me.
He fights for me… for you. He is my defender…and yours.
When I looked upon this lion, I would not dare take what is his, yet the enemy continues to try… Oh the arrogance!
Oh my arrogance… believing this battle is my own; for it is not.
This lion is a reminder of Who I have as my Protector and where my confidence lies.
Art courtesy of Doug Giles. Check out more of his work @ douggiles.art
Our testimony is the story of our relationship with and experience of our Father God. We can tell people all day long what they should and shouldn’t do, how they should and shouldn’t act. We can tell them how they have sinned and fallen short, that Jesus is the one true way. That no matter what their circumstances are they should be joyful. (Insert eyeroll here from those who have no clue what you are talking about with your pie-in-the-sky theology). But listen…nothing comes close to the power of sharing with people what a relationship with the Most High God actually looks like in our lives.
Each one of us were created on purpose, with purpose and if we waste time stuck in a skewed version of our worth and value we will not be about the work He created us to do. We will not step out in boldness using all of those amazing and unique characteristics, traits, and gifts to fulfill our destiny.
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By learning how my husband is different from me, I can have more realistic expectations that lead to a healthier relationship with more effective communication. I have less moments when I feel there has been an alien invasion.
What could have ended up as an emotional, knock-down, drag out fight ended in a good chuckle and a compassionate acknowledgement of our differences…and those differences make us perfect for one another.
He is the Simon to my Garfunkel…the gravy to my biscuits…the sugar in my tea…my soulmate.
